I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I want to be your penis for a week.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
