That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
