She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
