He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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