Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
