well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
