i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
she told me i tasted like america
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
