Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize