I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
