Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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