so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
It's blow job season.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
