so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
