So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
