my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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