Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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