Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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