Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
