it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
How many fucks given?
0.12846
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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