:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Blood and glitter go together right?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Randomize