TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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