I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
this boner is exhausting
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
