Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Randomize
