I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
