U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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