is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
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