I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
