Me too!
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I need moral support for this bender
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize
