I'm jealous of your bromance
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Randomize
