im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
