Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
