I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize