the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
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