ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
