I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
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