That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
