She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
