i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
