you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
