I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize