Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
