I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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