I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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