dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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