yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
