Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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