I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I FOUND THE LEGS
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
