marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
