i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
