dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Randomize
