**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
