Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
