Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
