i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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