just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
