They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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