Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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