Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Still dying that you shit outside
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Randomize
