I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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