I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
