In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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