quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Randomize
