so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
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