so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
