The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize