Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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